Last Tuesday and Wednesday, I drove 900 miles from Texas to Florida to see the last launch of the Atlantis shuttle. That was quite nice, as it was a beautiful launch by NASA. The shuttle went up right on time, I believe that it went up right at 2:20 PM EDT on the dot. It was quite breathtaking to watch 2,030 tons of human-made machinery and 6 humans lift from the ground and make a b-line to it's orbital track. I nearly cried after watching the shuttle take off. She flew quite beautifully, and I was extremely happy to see her fly.
In other news, Mom and I had our conversation and it went well. Now I truly feel that I will be able to transition without fear of rejection from her. I also believe that I will not have rejection from my father, as he was quite accepting during and after our conversation several years ago. The rest of the family, however, I rather doubt that I will be able to keep. I think that my grandmother is accepting, and I know that my step brother is; however my biological sister is probably not neither is the rest of my egg-donor's side of the family is not accepting at all.
This is leading to some very tough decisions, of which I believe that I have come to terms with. Unfortunately, I realize that I will lose all contact with the majority of my living family. If things go the way I'm expecting, the way that things are leading, I will have my mom, my dad, and my step brother as my family, combined with my chosen family. The rest of my blood will have nothing to do with the “abomination” that I'm making of my body. My biological sister cannot accept my choice to live my life rather than keep a mask. She is perfectly happy living as a tomboy, but I am not able to live as a male. I guess that it's partly because being a tomboy is perfectly acceptable in this society while being a “sissy” is not socially acceptable. At least, that's my opinion.
I'm going to start counseling here in June. I also hope that I can start permanent hair removal, and slowly start working at my transition. I also need to start working on my voice again. Hopefully, I can be around the house for a few months and try to get comfortable enough to leave the house. I'm very nervous, as I feel there are several markers that would out me.
Well, I'm off to bed. I have a few more days on vacation before I head home.
1 comment:
Hi Ryn,
You know I have never seen a shuttle launch in person, and it must have been awe inspiring, and also to realize that the space program is supposedly about to retire the shuttles and embark on new adventures.
And what a metaphor as a backdrop for it going so well with your Mom. Going the extra hundreds of miles definitely worked well in your favor.
Congratulations,
Sophie
Post a Comment