Balancing lives

I think that I'm living three lives now.  Maybe four.  And these lives are not very evenly divided.  46% of my time is dedicated to work.  48% of my time is dedicated to school.  6% of my time is personal time.  That comes out to 7 hours a week of personal time, which is spent doing my normal (required) things, mainly shower, brushing teeth, et cetera.  And that leaves no time for me to really be who I am.

I haven't dressed in "comfortable" clothes in several months, which is rather frustrating, as I am constantly forced to wear this mask that doesn't necessarily map to who I am.  I don't know what I should do, as I really want to get my degree, I can't afford to change jobs (especially considering the grass is always greener over the septic tank), and I really think that this is going to drive me over the edge.  I am definitely struggling with cognitive dissonance, and definitely on the edge of depression.

This is definitely a stressing point, as there is nothing I really want more than to have the time to really work on my transition.  I feel that there are too many requirements right now for me to really be able to fully do my transition.  I should do more on the weekends, however I pretty much get up and start working on school work. During the weekend, I wake up and start working on my homework.  Then, I brush my teeth, get breakfast, and continue homework, which is my day until I get ready for bed.  I've really got to figure this out before I go under.

But, the good news is that I'll be finished with this course soon, and I should get a week off from school.  Then, I should have some time to relax before I start on the next summer term.  Once done with that, I think I have two weeks, then I start fall which (I really hope) will be much better and less stressed.

Well, I'm off to get to bed.